Shell shock – WW I
Battle fatigue – WW II
Soldier’s heart — Korea
Got fucked up — Vietnam
Post traumatic stress disorder — Iraq
Post traumatic stress injury — Afghanistan
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Tagged Afghanistan, anti-war, battle fatigue, gregswimelar, Iraq, peace, post traumatic stress, PTS, shell shock, swimelar, the war disease, Vietnam, war, WW I, WW II
If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Join ‘Em
by Joey Schmoeller
My third grade teacher, Mrs. Gladys Newell, who I was in love with, introduced me to the saying, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” Little did I know then how this might come in handy at some point in my life.
For most of my life I have understood and realized that there is much suffering for the majority of mankind. I have seen it personally on the streets of Morocco, Mexico, the Philippines, and a bunch of other countries, including, yes — the United States. I have had great empathy for the suffering of those who are unfortunate through no fault of their own.
I cherished the belief and hope that there was an answer to human starvation, wars, and injustice. I believed that all people wanted a just society – a world where the chances were more than likely that most of us on the planet would be able to live without great suffering. It seemed to me that these things mattered.
These ideas were slowly but surely championed by my mother and modeled by my father. When I got to Kindergarten these same ideas became the rules that our teacher insisted would enable us to get along, work together, and survive as little humans in that small classroom at Pennsylvania Avenue School. Then attending Sunday school at the South Presbyterian Church – I was told that there was a guy – actually more than a guy – but that is the part I never fully understood. We studied this guy who said that a person in need is our neighbor, even if that person doesn’t look like us, or belongs to another group. This guy used an example of coming across a foreign-type person who was in dire straits. He said the most important thing we could do would be to help that person. So I was getting these messages from every direction in my development as a child. It seemed natural to believe that all humanity was working in that direction – to help one another as we pass through this mysterious experience of acquiring life, and then eventually losing it – and passing it on to those that follow – with the hope that they would carry the ball further, just as we were to carry the ball further than our parents, grandparents, ancestors, and well – all previous humans, even maybe back to the Cro-Magnums.
With aging and experience, one realizes that instead of humanity participating in this race to make the world a better place for all God’s children, you’re usually pretty much running alone, and that Mark Twain actually was right – it is a damned human race.
So with the current era’s seeming selfishness, and with the popularity of humiliating others, not caring if our brothers and sisters get medical care when they get sick, giving all the breaks to the people who already were in possession of so many breaks – the “I got mine – you get yours,” philosophy has taken over. With this realization I have concluded that I have one of three options: (1) to fight like hell for what I was taught as a child, (2) to begin to look at the sad state of affairs as laughable, or (3) if I can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.
I’ve decided to go for number 3. I tried number one for a while, but it is too depressing. I also tried number 2, but somehow had great difficulty laughing over the misfortunes of others. So as of today, I am becoming a Repugnikkkan.
I no longer have to worry about kids who go to bed hungry. I am not going to share the ownership of that problem anymore. As a good Repugnikkkan, I am just going to say, look – it’s the kid’s parent’s responsibility – it’s got nothing to do with me. I’m also not going to worry anymore about 17 and 18 year olds being recruited for the army even before they have a chance to know much about themselves and the world, and get taken right into the meat grinder in some unnecessary war. I am so glad to have that as one less thing to be concerned about. After all, it’s their choice. They swallowed the pill that said that war is where the glory is, and that if you are going to be a man – or a patriotic woman – you will get in line, learn to salute, and do whatever they tell you to do regardless of whether it shocks your conscience or not.
It’s great that the US has set a precedent in ignoring the Geneva Accords – another thing I won’t have to lose any sleep over. I might even take up swearing – it’s like, OK, the world doesn’t like it – then fuck ’em. Torturing people – now there’s something that I never dreamed I’d have to even think about. I don’t know how in the world I believed that everyone was against torture. It was almost like – you’re a human being – you don’t believe in torture – the two go together. And if you do believe in torture you aren’t a human being – you don’t meet the definition. But that’s all gone now. It’s OK to torture – as long as it’s not someone on our side – torture the shit out of them, even if we aren’t sure they’ve done anything. That’s the good thing about torture – even if they haven’t done anything, they will tell us what they have done, even if they haven’t done it – and that absolves us from all guilt toward the act of torturing. The act itself solves the problem regarding the question of whether or not it works. Of course it works – and I am all for it now. In fact, I am not even going to think about how it must feel to be tortured. Certain places will now be off limits to me now though – I will have to make sure that I avoid going to Cambodia to see the killing fields, or to any of the Holocaust Museums, or to Auschwitz – and avoid the War Museum in Ho Chi Minh City. But there are nicer places – there is Cancun and Las Vegas – and a bunch of other places where I can have a lovely time.
© Joey Schmoeller – This is a draft and under no circumstances to be considered final.
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Tagged Geneva Accords, health care, peace, Re, Republicans, Schmoeller, torture, war
The Heathen
He don’t know da Bible.
He don’t know da Bhagavad Gita
Or da Torah.
He don’t know da Koran neither.
He never read about da Buddha.
But he knows a good heart
When he sees one.
He blanket-sprays loving kindness
Wherever he goes
Just like da firefighters put out da fire.
He looks with love
And gives to the poor.
He confront politicians
And refuses to get sucked into
The patriotic wars.
His 20/20 eyesight can see that the sick need care
And kids need understanding.
They are thinking about putting him on the no-fly list
Before he causes any more trouble.
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Tagged Bible, Buddha, Koran, peace, religion, social justice, Torah, war
ACT 3, SCENE 4
INT. OPEN STAGE WITH A CONFERENCE TABLE AT THE MID-RIGHT, A “PULL UP” BAR IS ON THE LEFT AND SOME OPEN SPACE FROM THE LEFT — LATER
(Tupac, JFK, and Hoffa are on one side of the stage and Tupac is giving them hip hop dance lessons. Tupac controls the music which is on a jam box.)
TUPAC
Okay, like this… hey, are you sure you guys want to do this?
HOFFA
Hell no! I want to go back to pull-ups.
JFK
Tupac — you aren’t going to give up on us are you?
TUPAC
Fuck no! What the hell else do I have to do here in this tank? At least I can get my own thing going from the music.
(Tupac does a few dance steps.)
Okay, now you guys have to get your shit together.
JFK
I’m trying Tupac!
(As JFK goes through some steps trying to copy Tupac. Hoffa is also trying to hip hop.)
(The lights dim and the scene closes with the three of them practicing hip hop dancing.)
ACT 3, SCENE 5
INT. OPEN STAGE WITH A CONFERENCE TABLE AT THE MID-RIGHT, A “PULL UP” BAR IS ON THE LEFT AND SOME OPEN SPACE FROM THE LEFT — LATER
(Tupac is taking charge.)
TUPAC
Ok, move the conference table to the side.
(All but JFK, MLK, and Tupac move committee table to the side.)
ELVIS
Hey, is this for real?
TUPAC
It absolutely is — these guys are going to compete in hip hop dancing, and you guys are going to be the judges. Ok, make room for the contestants!
WALT DISNEY
Shoot, I wish I had my movie camera!
TUPAC
You might be glad you don’t have it after you see this.
HOFFA
I don’t care how I look as long as I win.
MALCOLM X
That’s the idea, Jimmy, “by any means necessary!”
TUPAC
Hey, did you really say that shit?
MALCOLM X
Yeah, I did, Tupac — I’m not sure I’d say it now though, it’s a different era.
TUPAC
Hey don’t be so fast — things are still fucked up.
WALT DISNEY
I could never understand why some people are racist. I never was.
TUPAC
Yeah, sure Walt, I hear ya, brother.
WALT DISNEY
Hey, let’s get the contest going!
TUPAC
Oh yeah, Jimmy and JFK — go over there — I need to introduce you.
(Hoffa and JFK go to their respective corners. Tupac takes on the role of a typical announcer of a heavyweight championship fight.)
TUPAC
Ladies and gentlemen…shit, we ain’t got no ladies here!
(pause)
Are you ready to rumble!!!! We have here two honorable competitors who have agreed to forego gang-banging and pull-up competition in order to compete as gentlemen in the performing arts, which, of course is a more civilized and dignified way to settle differences.
MLK
Why can’t they talk over their differences?
TUPAC
Well, I think they have — this is just for a personal kind of challenge… I want to emphasize that yours truly is NOT responsible for the actual quality of the performances of these two fine contenders. OK, will the two contenders please present themselves.
(JFK and Hoffa move to either side of Tupac, who has a microphone in his hand — or somethin’ that can look like or serve as a microphone.)
TUPAC
On my left, we have champion pull-upper, Mr. James R. Hoffa, former President of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters; a labor organizer who dedicated himself, when he wasn’t pissing people off, to the idea that all American workers would be respected and paid a livable wage. And on my right, the challenger, President John Fitzgerald Kennedy, who needs no introduction —
JFK
Oh, come on, Tupac, give me some sugar too.
TUPAC
OK, this is the man who beat the shit out of Richard M. Nixon in a nationally televised debate.
JFK
That’s more like it.
WALT DISNEY
You’re just lucky that Nixon couldn’t find a three track razor!
(laughs)
TUPAC
Gentlemen, you’ve agreed to a coin toss to determine who will perform first — Jimmy, you call it in the air.
(Tupac tosses a coin.)
HOFFA
Head!
(Tupac catches the coin and slaps it on the back of his hand.)
TUPAC
What do you mean, “head?” It’s either “heads” or “tails.”
HOFFA
Heads! Heads!
TUPAC
Tails it is!
HOFFA
Oh shit!
TUPAC
Mr. President, you have your choice — to go first or second.
JFK
I will let Jimmy go first to see what he’s got.
ELVIS
Good decision, Jack.
TUPAC
Hey, no help from the audience!
(looking at Elvis)
Okay, Jimmy, you’re on.
(Tupac puts on the music. Hoffa gets out there and does a fairly good job of hip hop dancing. He really gets the committee onto their feet! They are whooping and hollering and cheering. Jimmy has a big smile on his face and really enjoys playing the crowd.)
TUPAC
Whew! That wasn’t bad. All right, Jimmy! Where the hell did you learn those moves? I know you didn’t learn that watching American Bandstand!
HOFFA
(trying to catch his breath)
Shoot, I wish I had learned to dance. I could have had a fuckin’ ball at those union hall get-togethers.
TUPAC
That’s going to be a hard act to beat – but JFK’s got a lot riding on this – so let’s see what he’s got – Mr. President —
(JFK comes out with a hip hop type uniform — long jean shorts or jeans that are obviously too big for him — and he has his underwear showing from the top.)
(The music begins. JFK starts going through his moves. Tupac is rolling on the floor — so are the committee members. JFK stops dancing.)
JFK
Wait a minute, this isn’t the song I practiced with.
HOFFA
Hey, if you’re good you ought to be able to do it to any song!
TUPAC
OK, Mr. Pres — you are right — my mistake — hold on — okay, judges — forget what you just saw — let’s give him another chance. Here you go —
(JFK starts dancing, but doing really well this time. The judges are whooping it up and cheering. Hoffa is showing a look of surprise. JFK actually does some difficult moves — and does them quite well. The judges continue to cheer and clap.)
TUPAC (Continued)
Whoa! I don’t think I was ready for that. Dude, you must have been practicing when I wasn’t looking — or did you find some stuff around here.
HOFFA
Yeah, we need some drug testing. This could become an Olympic sport.
TUPAC
Who’s talking about drugs — I was talking about booty!
(smile)
OK – folks — it’s time to vote.
(Lennon passes out ballots and the judges mark them. Elvis collects them.)
TUPAC (Continued)
Elvis, give them to Dr. King to count.
(MLK counts — and makes a total.)
TUPAC (Continued)
Do we have a winner?
MLK
We most certainly do.
TUPAC
Will both contestants present themselves.
(pause)
Before we hear the verdict, I want to congratulate each contestant on having the guts to get out here and embarrass the shit out of yourself. This would be like me competing in snow skiing! Ya done good — and no matter who ever wins —
JOHN LENNON
We love ya both!
TUPAC
Yeah — we love ya both.
HOFFA
Come on — I can take it!
TUPAC
The verdict, Dr. King…
MLK
It was close — just like a supreme court decision — we have a 3 to 2 result. The winner is John Fitzgerald Kennedy!
(All judges and Tupac surround both competitors and they give each other “high 5’s” then form a bilateral hug — which closes into a whole group hug with appropriate sounds of mutual support.)
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Tagged 2nd Gear Rubber, 60's, assassination, Disney, Elvis, film, hip hop, Hoffa, JFK, John Lennon, Kennedy, Lawrence Welk, Lennon, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, MLK, movie, peace, political, Presley, screenplay, Second Gear Rubber, Shakur, The Committee, Tupac, Walt Disney
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